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Feminism, Socialism, Christianity, Autism, and Mommy-blogging. You'd think I'd need more blogs. But no.
Mis à jour : il y a 22 min 13 sec

Let's Talk

il y a 4 heures 18 min
About corporate welfare and greed that preys on the charitable values of humans.

Today, one of the wealthiest corporations in Canada is "sponsoring" an event, where they will donate money (that they can then write-off as a tax deduction) to a mental health charity if you advertise for them for free.

And I'm the asshole for pointing this out.

There is no question whatsoever that there needs to be a national conversation about mental illness and the stigmatization that comes along with it. There is no question that doctors are ignorant about it and corporations even moreso. Do you know what Bell does for its employees who have mental illness? Nothing. NOTHING. And about 7 years ago, they cut health benefits for their retirees. Oh, the champion of mental health care, Bell. Fuck Bell. Corporate toads.

What kills me, is that if big corporate entities just paid their fucking taxes, we wouldn't need charities for what should be basic health care. Why in the name of all things holy doesn't the government step up and pay for mental health care the way they should? Oh, because they "don't have the money". Right. So make the fucking corporations pay their fucking taxes. Bell spends a fortune trying to get out of their taxes. Fuck Bell.

You know what's worse? Any money we donate to this shit, the company gets a tax break. They're literally making money off this. And because people are dying to do something, we let them get away with this shit. Seriously? We allow Bell to profit while pretending to do something, because we feel so powerless. And then when people like me point this out, we're called cynical assholes and told, "Well at least they're doing something". GAH. No, they aren't. A tiny drop in the bucket when they could actually do something? It's like Mr. Burns giving the employees their precious tartar sauce. It's like giving a cosmetics company money so that they'll give part of it to cancer research for you. Oh. People do that too? *headdesk*

You want to do something? Here's what you can do: You know someone with mental health issues. Yes, you do. Phone them. Reach out. Let them know they're not alone. And if you truly can't think of anyone to call, donate some money to a homeless shelter. Hand out food and socks in the street. Because chances are, you'll be directly helping some mentally ill people there.

Then write your MLA. Write your MP. We need to demand a national conversation. We need to refuse the status quo.

Because youth are dying at a higher rate than ever before. A few years ago, a young man lit himself on fire (and died) outside of the hospital, while on the waitlist for help. The situation for youth is grim. There are long waits for service, crappy service when you get it, cut-offs when they're stable 'enough', no help transitioning to adult services. Parents quit their jobs to look after their mentally ill kids. And let's face it, poverty isn't going to help the situation any. And where is Bell on that? No where. Do they give their employees leave to look after mentally ill kids? Fuck no. Fuck Bell.

And then there's the problem of what services exist for the mentally ill who cannot work but aren't sick enough for inpatient services. Sweet. Bugger. All. Where's Bell on that? Oh yeah, no where. They're supporting the Cons, who would even cut what meagre services they already have. Fuck Bell. You know how much a person in BC gets for disability per month? $907. Nine hundred and seven dollars. The extra seven just seems cruel. For a Christmas bonus, they get $25. It's insulting. How the fuck do you live on $907? I've yet to see a bachelor suite for under $625 where I live. And so fucking help me, anyone who wants to tell me that they should move to cheaper markets (I have honestly been told that. Several times. By stupid conservative voting dickbags who don't know that people can't just move away from their support services when they're mentally ill. Not to mention they truly might not be able to afford to move.

So here's the situation for an average mentally ill person:
Can't work or need accommodations to work. Job doesn't care.
Go to doctor for help. Doctor throws prozac at you or tells you to just cheer up (or stop worrying. Or stop being so flighty. Or stop looking for attention.) If you're "crazy" enough, they'll get you on a waitlist for help.
Go to government for help. They've got nothin'. No money, they claim. Then they spend billions on sports and give tax breaks to oil companies, telecoms, banks, and other extremely profitable corporations.
Try to distract yourself with some mindless TV. Oh, they're demonizing the mentally ill on TV again. Great.
Talk to a friend. Friend tells you to take a vacation. Get some time for yourself. Just cheer up. Fake it 'til you make it.
Still waiting.
Lose friends.
Lose job.
Try to get by on $907/mo while the government and media call you a lying moocher.
Start to wonder if you're a lying moocher, because you're not thinking straight because HELLO MENTAL ILLNESS.
Talk to another friend. She recommends the church. They recommend praying.
Still waiting.
Getting sicker. Body getting sick now too, because can't eat well on $907/mo.
Losing hope.
See well-meaning people tweeting about mental illness like they know something about it, and seeing Bell, the company that fired you for being mentally ill, sponsor this bullshit.


Major h/t to @torquilcampbell on Twitter, whose tweets I missed very much. But if I find out that he for one second knew what his radio coworker (he whose name I will not speak) was up to, I'll cut him. From my Twitter feed. Yeah, that's what I meant...

Spousal support

mar, 01/20/2015 - 11:54
Since we seem to be reasonable people, talking at cross-purposes, and since I think this is an important subject, I'm going to lay it all out here.

Spousal support. Someone said she thinks it's only right to abolish spousal support, because the spouse claiming it should get a job instead. She's generally right. There are exceptions. I think I'm one of them. (Of course! It's always... Never mind. I really do. I have a good reason, and it isn't greed.) It's actually cheaper for him.

Now, Tony and I are fine, so this is a moot point, but lots of women in my situation aren't doing so well. I see them suffering, and it kills me. We are raising severely disabled children who can't attend school. And our unpaid labour is so undervalued, it's ridiculous.

I'm not going to disclose my financials here, but I'll go with the numbers a dear friend supplied me just a week ago (she's okay with that because "no one reads your stupid blog anyway". :)) She's in a similar situation.

Household budget - special needs :
mortgage: $1000/mo (LUCKY)
food for 5: $850/mo (multiple food allergies)
utilities: $250/mo (no cable)
car insurance: $100/mo
gasoline: $100/mo
incidentals: $200/mo
TOTAL: $2500

Kids' budget:
Childcare - $4500/mo (It would be a LOT more, if his insurance wasn't paying. And frankly, those kids need more than they're getting. Which Mom knows.)
Medications - $$450/mo
TOTAL: $4950

Her husband pays $3000/mo child support. She's supposed to come up with the difference. She can't. Because she isn't employable in a job that pays enough to do that. She makes $15/hr and works 50 hours per week. Because she hasn't been employed for years. So the NT kids don't get lessons or extras or new clothes. And the disabled kids are suffering mediocre care by people who care, but let's face it, don't love them.

Now, take the childcare out of the equation. Have Mom stay home, the way she always did. Suddenly, we're at $2950, total. LESS than his child support payments. AND she stays home, guaranteeing the kids better care than they're getting now. AND she can make a few dollars on the side working from home after they sleep.

Keep in mind, this isn't going to change when they turn 18. They won't be magically cured. They'll still need every last bit of support. And the court won't mandate it. He'll still pay, because he's a decent enough guy (I hope).

It's better for everyone. Her, the kids, him.

I know another case or two. Like when the wage earner up and leaves when the stay-at-home spouse is 65 years old. Or when the stay-at-home spouse is disabled.

But yes, I absolutely see the possibilities for abusing the system.

It was put in place as a lifestyle thing. "I got accustomed to living in luxury..." Yeah. Whatever. And yes, we're living in an age in which women generally do have choices. But there still is very much a patriarchy, and it is still very much in play. And so I think there are some considerations necessary, especially for women who gave up careers to work unpaid at home, and don't have many options left.