waking to the sunrise, ice on the steps and snow everywhere.
finishing nothing. My life is a work in progress.
watching Star Trek reruns, Big Bang Theory, My Little Pony season 4.
loving my job at The Children's Place.
appreciating being home for the holidays for the first time in 2 years.
packing Ryan a box.
keeping my head down and my mouth shut.
hunting for cheap presents.
planning is for chumps.
looking through scratched glasses is annoying. Need a new pair.
anticipating Yule and seeing Ryan briefly.
working on being present.
having trouble staying focuses on what's best for the family.
hoping we've made the right choice.
feeling a bit run down.
It may have come up before a time or two but it's worth stating again; I got my start as a gamer on the SNES (that's the Super Nintendo Entertainment System for you young whippersnappers out there) with Super Mario World, Super Metroid, Secret of Mana, Illusion of Gaia, Chrono Trigger, Mario Kart and of course, Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. The 16 bit SNES sound and graphics hold a special place in my heart to this day, and I've spent hours combing through plastic totes at various second hand stores trying to get my hands on hard to find cartridges for my still running system. (Other than LoZ and Mario Kart, I have all of the above!)
You can imagine my delight then when I saw a preview for Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds a month or two ago, the first direct sequel in the Legend of Zelda universe! I picked up my copy today and shared the opening first bit with my son, Gabe. It took a couple of tries for his 3DS to read the game but as soon as that shining golden Triforce spun it's way onto the screen accompanied by the familiar (and yet somehow better!) tune, it was magic. Sheer nostalgia flooded through me and for a little while I was transported away from all the stress and bother of my life right now and into the world of my childhood. Who needs drugs when you've got Nintendo, amirite?
Seriously though, the gameplay is solid, the music is multi-layered and gorgeous, the graphics are clean and bright, and while the story is quite familiar (I almost feel not that I'm playing a sequel but a reboot) there are new elements that are quite refreshing. In an hour and some of gameplay I've already defeated the first dungeon and opened up the world for exploration both within the storyline and outside of it. At some point I know Zelda will get kidnapped and need rescuing (she IS one of the decendents of the 7 Sages after all) and there are 3 pendants I need to recover (again!) and the Master Sword (this IS a LoZ game after all) but I don't really care.
Unlike with the Mario franchise, which basically has no story but 'go rescue Peach using this new gimmicky item/gameplay/trick we created', the Zelda games have always centered on the story, and I'm a story hound at the core. RPGs are the meat and potatoes of my gaming experience and once again Nintendo has delivered exactly what I want in a game.
It could just be the change of seasons (only 18 days until the celestial turn-around!) or simply burn-out, but I've lost my momentum. After being ON for the last four months, planning and moving and waiting and being disappointed and then getting my hopes up and changing my mind and FOLDING FIFTY FUCKING MILLION SHIRTS I'm just done. Now is the time for hibernation, for the charging of the mental, emotional and physical batteries as best I can despite being separated from Ryan, living at my in-laws for the foreseeable future, getting knocked on my butt by two colds in the last month.
More than anything I want to spend the next few weeks reconnecting with my family and friends, as the season warrants, before diving into the adventure of the coming year. My only hope for this coming year is to finally have a Home of our own again. We're in a holding pattern right now, with Ryan in Kitchener and me and the kids here, sharing space with his parents. Hopefully we'll see him for the holiday but there are no guarantees. I'm tired of being on the move, of being between places, of being uprooted and replanted and moved again with barely enough nutrients to keep myself going. No matter what the future holds I can't face it with an empty tank. In order to get going again, to regain my momentum, it's time to pause and regroup.
Thanks to my Facebook feed I found this news story last night and am sharing it with you to raise the alarm; the Plan B or Morning After Pill, an emergency contraceptive available over the counter at the pharmacy here in Canada, and in many other places like the USA and Europe, is COMPLETELY INEFFECTIVE for women over 176lbs. For those of you keeping track, that's pretty much average size for most segments of the female population 'round the world. From Mother Jones:
The European manufacturer of an emergency contraceptive pill identical to Plan B, also known as the morning-after pill, will warn women that the drug is completely ineffective for women who weigh more than 176 pounds and begins to lose effectiveness in women who weigh more than 165 pounds. (...) Data for the years 2007 to 2010 show the average weight of American women 20 years and older is 166.2 pounds—greater than the weight at which emergency contraceptive pills that use levonorgestrel begin to lose their effectiveness. The average weight of non-Hispanic black women aged 20 to 39 is 186 pounds, well above the weight at which these pills are completely ineffective. A CDC survey published in February found that 5.8 million American women used emergency contraceptive pills from 2006 to 2010.
My question is; how the fuck do you make a pill that is completely ineffective for fat women and not realize it? Is this just a glaring example of fat bias? The thinking that fat women aren't having sex, therefore they couldn't possibly need emergency contraception? And the solution isn't even to just make the dosage larger-the people behind this pill have literally NO IDEA how to fix the problem except to recommend 'alternate forms of emergency contraception', except there ISN'T ONE. If your condom breaks, you miss a pill, you're raped or whatever, going to the pharmacy and grabbing Plan B is the ONLY WAY to prevent a pregnancy from happening. Getting an IUD inserted might work, but that'll cost you hundreds of dollars in the States and you'll need to make an appointment to get it done. You have, at most, 72 hours post sexy times to do that, so good luck.
I've used Plan B once when I was heavier than I am now; walked to the pharmacy, grabbed the box, paid, went home, followed the instructions and had total peace of mind. Millions of women around the world have now been robbed of that peace, thanks to their size. This is completely unacceptable, but what do we DO about it? One place to start is contacting Teva, who makes Plan B, and let them know we want and need a product that works for us. That's money in their pocket which is a win-win situation. It's not enough to just change the packaging telling us fat ladies "Sorry, this wont work for you." Make us something that DOES work.
Vice President, Corporate Communications, Teva Pharmaceuticals
Plan B One-Step® Information Center at 1-800-330-1271.
Teva Women's Health, Inc.
ATTN: Plan B One-Step® Marketing Team
41 Moores Road
Frazer, PA 19355-1133